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“Whenever we go on a date to eat there are about 3 things (my vegan girlfriend) can eat unless we make a 2-hour trip out to Boston,” read the post. “It’s almost like a religious belief.” There are the basic logistical challenges that come with a mixed-diet relationship — some of which were outlined in a recent Reddit post that will surely resonate with carnivores forced to cater to the tastes of a meat-free partner. ” said Zoe Eisenberg, co-author of “The Lusty Vegan: A Cookbook and Relationship Manifesto for Vegans and the People Who Love Them.” “It’s just one other thing that you have to check off your list of must-haves if you’re looking for your ideal partner.”Shannon Gotto, 31, a special ed classroom assistant and graphic artist from Chelsea who went vegan years ago for ethical reasons, said casually dating someone who doesn’t share your food beliefs is one thing. “If you’re thinking about marriage and having kids and raising kids and figuring out if they’re going to be vegan, that’s a huge thing,” she said.“(And) God forbid they accidentally put cheese on her veggie wrap.”And then there are the larger issues.Food can be an important source of bonding, said Cambridge-based dietitian Marci Anderson Evans, one that can be missing in couples unwilling or unable to share in it.“I certainly see the consequences when couples are really, really not aligned — particularly when judgment comes in,” said Anderson Evans, whose clients include couples attempting to work through their food-related differences.
“Someone says, ‘No, that’s not part of my diet,’ or ‘You shouldn’t be eating that,’ and that ...can be a real strain on a relationship.”Is it any surprise, then, that many have simply chosen to stick to their own ilk?Popular dating apps such as Tinder have yet to include diet as part of the default biographical information a potential mate sees, but that hasn’t kept many from using the brief personal bio space to draw a dietary line in the sand.“You’ll see a lot of dating websites,” said Lisa Kelly, 30, a Waltham-based personal chef who runs The Vegan Pact blog, “where guys are like, ‘If you’re vegan, I don’t want anything to do with you.’”On the flip side, sites such as Veggie allow Boston-area singles to meet and mingle with like-dieted individuals (Sample ad: “Looking for that special somebody who shares my vegan beliefs”).And while the Boston Vegetarian Society — a group that hosts monthly speaking events and an annual fall festival — doesn’t prohibit meat-eaters from attending its events, the group also doesn’t complain when its members date or marry within the tribe.“We’ve seen many (supporters) meet and pair up and marry and have children,” said society president Evelyn Kimber.