Dating a man in his 50s
Dating a man in his 50s
Dating men of any age presents its own unique set of challenges: In high school you get fumbling boys, confused about where to put their body parts in relation to yours, despite their over-eagerness for the proximity. If you manage to settle down with one in their thirties you'll still spend time tinkering with their training wheels, coaching them through their careers, mothering them, and turning them into the men they want to be.
We recently attended a wedding in Palm Springs together, a fancy affair with pool parties, fireworks, and a ceremony at the Empire Polo Club where they host the Coachella music festival.
I'm 33, Megan is 37, and the majority of the guests who were not relatives of the bride or groom fell somewhere squarely in between. Uncle Jack was away somewhere in France, but the mother of the groom put the kibosh on the whole thing.
Recently recovering from a relationship with a 65-year-old celebrity plastic surgeon in Los Angeles, Megan arrived to the wedding weekend licking her wounds, only to immediately be courted by the 72-year old uncle of the groom."They can smell me a mile away," she told me after she chatted with him about restaurants, real estate, his children, and his grandchildren, while the rest of us kids enjoyed a game of floating beer pong in the pool. "I don't want you to get hurt, dear," she whispered with reserved aplomb.
"He is married, you know."Megan isn't a homewrecker and by the time we made it back to Los Angeles, with the help of Tinder we found her another suitable match, Gary, 68, an accomplished businessman who lives in San Francisco, vacations in Palm Springs, and loves golf.
Gary was smitten over message and they met up in between Los Angeles and Palm Springs a few days later. Throughout the weekend, as I explained Megan's preferences to my college girlfriends in their early thirties, they made a face like they had swallowed sour milk and erupted in a chorus of, "That's gross," "ewwwww," and my personal favorite, "he's like my grandpa." To be fair, Uncle Jack was actually someone's grandpa.
Megan's quick-witted retort is to rattle off the names of male celebrities who are sexagenarians, septuagenarians, and even octogenarians who you would probably sleep with: Harrison Ford, 71, Clint Eastwood, 83, Jack Nicholson, 76, Robert Redford, 77. "From an early age I just found older men to seem reliable and supportive. Bush (he was president at the time) was the most handsome man in the world.
Old guys aren't my thing, but every time I ask my 30-something boyfriend to talk seriously about our future or shuffle through his apartment that has empty pizza boxes stacked on the dining room table, I can see the advantages of having had someone else remove the training wheels. It's exhausting."Megan can actually date her attraction to silver foxes back to childhood and a certain ex-President from the late 1980s/early 1990s: "I think this is all George H. In middle school we had an assignment to write a letter to a famous person. The rest of my sixth grade class felt this way about Donnie Wahlberg.Megan dates older men because, as she says, they are men."It's not for everyone but I prefer to be with a man that has already conquered his world and wants to enjoy the rest of his life," she told me. Donnie seemed like a loose cannon, much too unpredictable.Long story short, I worked really hard on my card to George H. His birthday was coming up so I did a charcoal drawing of his face and wrote a birthday message."The hard work paid off. I am perfectly capable of doing the above myself but a real gentleman would never even think to have me do such a thing."About three weeks later, I got a letter from the White House. ] No one ever heard back from The New Kids on the Block. Old men are polite and thoughtful and young guys are generally self-centered."Megan is so passionate about dating older that she made me a list (a good one) of the five reasons that dating men in their sixties is just preferable to dating men in their twenties and thirties and why we should all stop judging her for it.1. I like a strong man that was raised when it wasn't abnormal to open your door, pull out your chair, and carry a heavy bag. To treat a woman like a LADY is the norm with a man in his sixties.2. A man in his sixties is not going to wait five years or even two to commit.It was a handwritten 'thank you' card from George Bush telling me I was a talented artist and a wonderful writer and to stick with it! You can call it being a gentleman but women are almost pleased or flattered when a man in his thirties does this. At this point in the game, they have their shit together and they know what they want.If they want you they're not going to make you question it.