Dating man in ru 2016

02-Jul-2016 02:28 by 10 Comments

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Stephen’s pickup line was, “Are you still fighting cancer? She just got the word “sexy.” I would have preferred that more commonplace objectification. He sent me three messages in a row after exchanging an initial “hey” and “what’s up.” “Are you ok already??? It’s been seven months now since I stopped treatment. By 19, I realized cancer had been slowly destroying my body for two years and moved home to undergo six months of brutal treatment. I couldn’t go without a wig again for almost a month. I like Josh because he’s funny and sweet and tall and he looks like a young Matthew Morrison with better bone structure. There’s no rulebook on how to set up a dating app profile when you’re two months out of chemotherapy. There’s no official playbook, but I try to tend to stick with honesty as much as possible. But I still wanted to see what Dan would have to say. I was the girl who had nothing to write on the Common App because my life had gone so relatively smoothly. Josh and I texted for two weeks before we met, and it never came up. I stroked on black winged eyeliner and wore a tube skirt and a top that covered my scars. Instead of asking me where I was a year ago (answer: probably in the hospital), he asked me what kind of bird I would be. I liked that he didn’t suspect the real reason for my relentless positivity.

Josh has taught me that there might still be men out there who care more about knowing what makes me smile than knowing the details of my medical history. There are men who will want to linger on the curves of my hips, not the edges of my scars. Life is unpredictable and crazy and I will never know how long I have left, but I now know that I can be kissed and held and told I’m beautiful without any hint of cancer voyeurism. But he will also have the pleasure of my enduring optimism and my relentless strength. Whomever I fall in love with next will have to understand that, around me, he can never complain about birthdays or getting older. I’ve learned that at this point, I don’t particularly care. With Josh I’ve learned something beautiful and new.

Would I ever be able to reach a level of intimacy with someone so deep that I could explain to them the depths of the suffering I had experienced at a mere 19 years old?

But one sentiment frightened me more than any other: the man I will one day marry will not have known me when I had cancer.

Until recently, I’ve been having that sort of luck with dates. When the relationship ended, I only cried for a day.

The first guy I kissed after treatment was someone I had known from before but ran into at a bar. Only telling him I was just out of chemotherapy stopped his persistence in his tracks. I read somewhere that you’re less likely to be hired by a company if you admit in the interview that you have a history of cancer.

I wear my survivorship proudly, but dating becomes difficult. My recent breakup wasn’t a decent enough reason to him. I like that he buries his head in my hair and doesn’t need me to tell him why I cut it.

“You know where this is going.” Yet part of me wants to hear it. My profile says nothing, but all it would take would be a quick peek at my Instagram to figure out why I have a cropped haircut. I see these experiences everywhere, but I don’t look like a St. Grasping that people don’t automatically notice I’m a cancer survivor has been difficult to process. I also like him because he’s seen my Instagram and kissed my scars and hasn’t asked for more.

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