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Don't enter a relationship expecting him to change, because he won't, even if it is better for him and he knows it.And if he DOES seem to change, he'll only revert back the moment you let up, and he'll only resent you the whole time you are trying to get him to change.
This list can apply equally to women as well as men.
If the person you are with does any ONE thing on this list, put on your running shoes.
If they do TWO or more things, lace those shoes up tight, and start RUNNING.
This is a big one: He downplays all the "RULES" people follow when dating.
Too many women are misled by the romantic myth that men are "diamonds in the rough" and we are supposed to "help" them become better men, often by sacrificing our own needs.
We are socialized to believe that if we help them, take care of them, give up our own needs for theirs, they will "take care" of us. Of course, men are just as vulnerable- they often marry women they barely know, feeling that they have to be "mature" and "grown up" and then end up miserable because they're stuck with someone they have nothing in common with.
Or they play "rescuer" and take up with women who are little, fragile dolls who need to be 'taken care of' and they say things like "She needs me, she's so fragile. The sad thing is, that the men/women who CAN change, do it on their own. They take time off from relationships, and work on their relationship with themselves.The can demonstrate REAL work and real change, rather than platitudes.The men/women who go from relationship to relationship, (often leaving one partner for another) are NOT going to get past their issues.And the sad thing is that far too many men, despite their loud and protesting denials, really just want another mother.As one very wise woman put it, "Unfortunately, most men never left the tit." Some people, however, are worse than others, and in the true spirit of HBI, we have created our "Red Flag List" - things to watch out for, and turn and walk (quickly) away from - no matter HOW deeply involved you are in the relationship.As the mother of this Heartless Bitch once said, "A man is who he is by his 16th birthday.