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25-Jul-2016 17:12 by 4 Comments

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His friend Dan served as his online flirting copilot. Each day after school, Leah and I would hop off the bus, grab a snack, and scurry down the thickly carpeted stairs into the basement of her house where we’d flip on her i Mac and huddle around the stout, clear-and-teal monitor while it went through the lengthy process of booting up.

Leah and I would take turns helming the keyboard, telling our Floridian friends about drama at school, talking shit about our other friends, and flirting in the way that only 12-year-olds can—calling each other “losers,” exchanging poorly cropped photos, and making up fake boys from school who had fake crushes on us. I’d eventually go home, across the street to my house, and that’s when Rafa and I would chat alone.

We’d talk about more serious stuff, like our families—his struggles being raised by a single mom, what it was like for me growing up as an only child, and how we missed each other even though we’d never met.

It was strange to feel such an intimate connection and feel so close to a person I’d never physically laid eyes on.

All the people I was close with up to that point were people I’d known most of my life: my parents, one of my babysitters, a few of my friends.

I met my first boyfriend, Rafa, in an AOL chatroom when I was 12 years old in what I now consider an elaborate piece of performance art.

Most girls my age had already had “boyfriends” at that point—nothing physical but merely a boy who hung out in their vicinity and would come over for parent-supervised hangouts.

But I was a late bloomer, and save for chasing my first-grade crush into the middle of the soccer field during a recess game, only to have him tell me to get the hell out of the way, I mostly stayed away from the boys in their Adidas pants and Gap sweatshirts.I was a chubby only child, the only Jew from New York that didn’t go to sleepaway camp.My friends would return at the end of each summer with useful knowledge, like the meaning of “hook up” and how to give a handjob, while I played with dolls and occasionally took a break to ride my bike.So when puberty reared its ugly head, I decided to pursue a relationship in the most nonthreatening way possible: on the Internet. But one day, in a chatroom, while once again pretending we were older than we were, we started chatting with Dragon42145.My best friend at the time, Leah, and I would go into chatrooms to talk with strangers and take on different, mostly harmless personas. Rafa was the fingers and face and body behind Dragon42145, and if this chat was a game of poker, then his vocabulary and phrasing were his tell.They gave him away as a kid just like us, taking on a more mature persona and testing the boundaries of the Internet to see what would happen.

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