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Every time I date a nice guy, especially if I like him, I feel so insecure and wonder, what if he’s dating someone else at the same time?Just last month, I met a cute guy and we went out and had so much fun together. Now it’s been a month and we’ve gone out four times.
In response, he started talking, but somehow didn’t really say anything, and I got the feeling he was probably seeing someone else. Everything was still so new between us, so I let the subject drop. I’m afraid to bring this up with him because the conversation didn’t go well the last time; he’s obviously not ready to be exclusive with me. My friend, you are an unwitting victim of the new culture that I call “the Tinder Revolution.” Although it’s always been possible to see more than one person at a time, technology – and Tinder, where one swipes right or left to meet or reject another – is just one app of many that has made it much easier for us to encounter, get-to-know, and “communicate” with multiple people simultaneously.
But here’s the thing: We have so much fun together. My best friend tells me to relax – this is just how dating is. I’m going nuts thinking about him dating other girls. However, despite the apparent benefits, the Tinder Revolution often leaves us feeling less self-confident, confused, frustrated, and empty. Everybody wants to feel special and to be treated with love and respect.
She says it’s 100% normal for us to both date multiple people at once until we decide together to make the relationship exclusive. Agreeing to date someone while he or she dates other people signals that it is somehow acceptable not to respect or value you.
At a minimum, it is a waste of your time, as more likely than not, non-exclusive relationships peter out. It is rude and disrespectful to be subject to such behavior. Dating someone while they’re dating other people is the same thing.
At worst, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak, getting attached to a person who refuses to focus on you. While he’s out with you having coffee, his mind could be on the dinner he had with her last night. I know many people think, It’s okay if he’s dating others besides me.
Ever been at a party or a function where someone is talking to you, but at the same time scanning the room looking for someone else to talk to? I can also date multiple people and still make the right choice. Dating multiple people has significantly disabled bachelors and bachelorettes from focusing on the people sitting right in front of them.
Studies show that too many options actually make it harder to choose.
Contrary to expectations, providing more varieties and flavors and choices of a product to consumers is not beneficial to people and does not lead to more sales. When we aren’t focusing on one person at a time, we can lose the most important “sale” of our life!
With too many choices people can’t make up their minds and often don’t, leading to lower sales. The Tinder Revolution leads to frustration and emptiness.
When someone is dating multiple people and not focusing on you, time is passing by.
If you’re dating a guy for two months and he is still not exclusive with you, you need to take a sober look at how you’re using your precious dating time.
Not one minute of those two months was focused exclusively on you, a prerequisite to really evaluating taking a relationship to the next step.