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Richard Hunt is President and CEO of the Consumer Bankers Association (CBA) representing the retail banking industry, including the nation’s largest bank holding companies as well as regional and super community banks.I was talking with a friend this week who was telling me about some encounters with her mother.
I have another friend whose father had a borderline mental illness.
He was sane enough that he appeared “normal” — but he really had the emotional maturity of a teenager.
He was manipulative, self-absorbed, and often inappropriate.
My friend could barely stand to be in his presence.
My own father (now deceased) could be a very difficult person.
He had very poor relational skills, resorted to passive aggressive behaviors, and couldn’t communicate his feelings well.
Sometimes he resorted to anger and stomping around the house in a grown-up version of a toddler tantrum.
As a teenager and young adult, I couldn’t understand why there was such a disconnect between us and why our relationship was so superficial.
Trying to connect with him was like jumping in a pool with only 6 inches of water.
I know there must have been more in there, but God love him, he couldn’t express it, and neither myself, my siblings, nor my mother could reach it.
I’m sure as you’re reading, you’re thinking about people in your own family who fall on the spectrum of difficult.
They can be just plain mean and nasty or somewhere else on the scale of disagreeable due to low emotional intelligence, poor self-esteem, bad upbringing, or just a wanky or narcissistic personality type.