Reasonable dating expectations

09-Feb-2015 17:39 by 4 Comments

Reasonable dating expectations

Why do we have such unrealistic expectations to begin with? Who taught us that if it's not happily ever after then it must not be true love? Let's look at this phenomenon a little more closely.

It's probably one of the top reasons many people have such a hard time finding the right person for them; what Ms.

Here's the problem I see time and time again — unrealistic expectations.

Of course, there are things on that list (and on every girl's list) that are perfectly appropriate and reasonable, depending on unique, individual needs, but would you really rather be single and alone just because he forgot you prefer lillies and brought you daisies instead?

These are examples of things I've heard from my female clients regarding what they want in a man.

Why single women want the fairy tale, but never find it.

Dating announcement: Desperately seeking Prince Superman.

Those messages will repeat themselves in your grownup relationships unless you've spent time trying to understand and change them.

If your dad was always betraying your mom and she looked the other way, you might learn that women should put up with anything and ignore any and all indiscretions.

If your mom did everything for everyone else and always played the martyr (i.e.: never taking care of herself with a "woe is me" attitude), then you might learn that your own needs are not as important as everyone else's (and you might end up with a man who needs a mommy for a partner).

For example, if your mom constantly put your dad down and criticized him, you might have learned that women should emasculate men and men should be doormats.

Of course there's a bajillion and one messages people get from their families depending on the dynamics, parental relationship (or lack thereof), and ways we each interpret those messages as kids.

Aside from the obvious cartoons we all watched with princesses, dwarves and fairy tale creatures, we get our lessons in love from what we witness growing up.

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