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04-Apr-2015 15:53 by 2 Comments

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In a rare anomaly, all but one of this Tuesday’s elections and caucuses are being held in the so-called “Mountain Time Zone,” which as we all know is entirely as mythical as the presence of comments on Wonkette.And the one that isn’t in Mountain Time is the Republican caucus in American Samoa, so forget them.

We think you’re mature enough to handle the responsibility, and we trust you not to have your hooligan friends over.But don’t think we’re going to leave the liquor cabinet unlocked.It’s a veritable grab bag this time around: Arizona has a primary for both parties, Utah has caucuses for both parties, and Idaho is holding caucuses for Democrats only.And American Samoa has a Republican caucus, of which we will say virtually nothing. Screw it; as Douglas Adams said, “Time is an illusion.Or maybe, since it’s tomorrow there already, they already had it. Lunchtime doubly so.” Utah: Democrats begin caucusing at 8 PM EDT ( “MDT”); Republicans begin at 9 PM EDT ( “MDT”).Idaho: Doors close for the Democratic caucus at 9 EDT, 7 “MDT.” American Samoa: ???????

Yr Doktor Zoom will be attending the Idaho Caucus, but that doesn’t mean we don’t think caucuses are undemocratic, vote-suppressing, and a huge pain in the ass compared to a nice straightforward primary. Arizona: Trump and Clinton are leading in the most recent poll, but about 30 percent of both Republicans and Democrats said they were still undecided.

It’s nice and neighborly, we suppose, but that hardly makes up for the fact that they’re damned inconvenient for working people who can’t make it out to the caucus, not to mention that they preclude absentee voting. Utah: Caucus polling is notoriously unreliable, but a Deseret News/KSL shows Cruz and Sanders leading their parties.

We also know we have Arizona Wonkers who will no doubt have amusing stories of irregularities at the polls, too, because Arizona. Unfortunately, the same poll also found that “while 67 percent of Utahns plan to participate, 56 percent said they don’t know where to go to vote.” So really, Moroni only knows.

Idaho: The most recent polling for Idaho is from a month ago, and showed Clinton and Sanders very close to each other.

Anecdotal evidence of the campaigns’ organizing efforts: We’ve gotten at least three calls from Hillary’s campaign asking if we’ll please make sure to get to the caucus, and no calls from Bernie’s.

On the other hand, Bernie actually made two campaign visits to the state, and Hillary none.

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